Title: Eavesdropper

Author: Chrysa

E-Mail: chrysa9@aol.com

Rating: PG-13 (to be on the safe side)

Category: Friendship, Humor

Codes: Tu, R/S

Summary: What Trip heard.

Archive: LD as always gets first dibs. Anyone else ask.

Disclaimer: I own fic. Don't own anything else.

Author's Note: For Jessica, who needed a laugh. Watching her react to it was almost as much fun as writing it.

***

Trip walked down the hall, chewing on his lower lip and studying a padd. "Okay. So if I flip the noon staff meeting to eleven we can get the Armory circuits swapped out and still make out in time for the movie. Perfect." Trip grinned as he put the last touches to tomorrow's schedule into place. Now all he had to do was drop a copy off to Malcolm and he could head home and sleep. Convenient that Malcolm's quarters were down the hall from his own. Trip strode a few more feet down the hall and stopped at Malcolm's door. As he raised his hand to hit the door chime he heard noises coming through the door.

"Malcolm, II..oh!"

Trip looked at the door warily.

"A little further down, Hoshi."

Click, whir.

"Wait. I can't see can you move your-"

"Hmm? Oh, sorry. Didn't realize it was in your way. How's that?"

"Much better."

This was wrong. So very, very wrong. Trip put his ear to the door.

Slight panting "This was not the best place to do this, Hoshi."

Laughter. "Where would you rather do this? The mess hall? It's a little too

public for me."

Sound of something sliding across the floor "Well, late at night no one's around. Might be a better place to do this."

Mess hall? Trip looked at the door incredulously. He could barely wrap his mind around the idea of Malcolm and Hoshi having sex and Malcolm wanted to do it in the mess hall?!

click, whir

"Oh my, God."

"Don't worry, Hoshi. You can do it."

"There is no way I can do that!"

"Yes, you can. Herenothat won't workOh Lord. Maybe you can't do that one."

Trip shook his head unable to believe what he was hearing. What did Malcolm have, a book?!

"No, wait. If I roll onto my back"

Movement. An object, possibly a chair, being moved aside.

Laughing"Dammit, Hoshi that tickles!"

"Ahh, so you do have a weakness! See told you I could do it."

Long pause

"Having you lying on my chest while we do this is very odd, Hoshi. Interesting, but odd."

Is this what an aneurysm feels like? Trip's head hurt trying to make sense of this. When the hell did Hoshi and Malcolm start going out?!

Panting, gasps of laughter "What's the next one, Malcolm?"

Pause

"Malcolm?"

Grunt "I don't know, Hoshi. I can't reach it."

"Oh, Malcolm."

"I can't reach it. The way you're balanced on me, we'll fall if I move."

"Damn."

"Tell me about it."

Un-flipping-believable. Trip could literally feel brain cells dying trying to deal with this information.

"Okay, Malcolm. How about if I shift over like this"

"Yeah, just a little furtherjust like that"

"AHHHHHHH!!" Sound of bodies crashing to the floor. Moans, groans and laughter come through the door.

Too much!! It was way too much for Trip. He backed away from the door with wide eyes and bumped into Jon coming down the corridor. "Jon!" He grabbed onto the front of Jon's uniform as if it were a lifeline.

"You okay, Trip?"

"No, Jon. I'm not okay. My head hurts."

"You work way too hard, Trip.You should relax. Like Malcolm and Hoshi do."

Trip looked at Jon. "Why am I always the last to know these things!"

Malcolm and Hoshi laughed as they pulled themselves up into a sitting position on the floor. Hoshi straightened her shirt. "That was fun. I almost won this time, too." She pulled the large Twister sheet out from under her.

Malcolm pulled the spinner from where it had slid under the bed. He flicked it with his fingernail. Click, whir. He watched the little arrow spin until it landed on yellow, right foot. "Care to play again?"

Fin